I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize