my mouth tastes like poor choices
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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