Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I need moral support for this bender
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
