D3 body, D1 cock
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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