question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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