shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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