This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize