You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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