Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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