It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
