Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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