whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Quick, to the slutcave!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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