Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
