i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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