Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
