literally had 100 drinks last night.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
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MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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