He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
