the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
