Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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