I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
