scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
