Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
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