Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
