I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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