the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
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