I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
