I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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