YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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