Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize