this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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