Please, let me fuck your mom
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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