But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
