real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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