Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
His hands were made for my vagina.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
