just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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