Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Farmville is her only friend.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
