thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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