Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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