i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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