he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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