Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
