Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
