I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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