$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize