Are we in a gay sports bar?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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