That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
