I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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