garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
