I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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