I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
