This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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