Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
