mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
