wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
