So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
