Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
