who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize