Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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