I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Couch. On fire.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
