Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
