he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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