i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.