i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss