Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....