I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
