Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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