So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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