So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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